About a year and a half ago, my eldest son started complaining of earaches that would randomly come and go, sometimes feeling excruciatingly painful for minutes on end and then going away as abruptly as they had set in. Being an holistic family, we exercised all of the usual interventions from the warm onion technique, to homeopathy, but nothing was working for him. Even the pediatrician who did a thorough examination of his ears said there was absolutely no infection, and that things looked perfectly healthy. This was good news indeed, but intuitively I knew there was much more to come. I felt as though things wouldn’t physically shift for my son, until he was emotionally ready to step into some changes.
Throughout my life I have always been fascinated by the energetic patterning we create from mind/body connections - what we put out vibrationally, what we think, what we say, and how we feel, are all in direct relationship to our current state of health. The further away we go from self-love and self-care, the more intense becomes the calling from our physical body to return to a state of balance. This is how we manifest disease, and/or live in a state of wellness.
In Louise Hay’s Book, You Can Heal Your Life, she devotes the final chapters of her cancer-surviving story to a system of naming the emotions that actually cause specific illnesses to manifest in the body, as well as offering affirmations to go with each illness as a means of helping people make shifts into wellness.
For Earache she writes:
Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Parents arguing.
Was our son’s body telling him he no longer wanted to hear the chaos in which we were living? Were we saying things to him that he just wasn’t ready to hear? It wasn’t until 3 months ago that we finally had a major breakthrough:
It was Saturday morning and we were all moving about the house in our usual fast paced manner - the TV was blaring and the dogs barked incessantly at each jogger who passed by our front porch. The kids were all in the living room watching Gumball (yes - I admit), when something on the show set off our daughter, leading her into a major melt-down, with tears and screaming out of control.
As she screamed, the dogs barked louder, and my husband started yelling at the dogs while I simultaneously started yelling at the boys to shut the TV immediately. Then came the “aha” moment of awareness:
In a wild flurry, my son ran into the kitchen, held his ears, and started screaming, “I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE….. I CAN’T TAKE THE SCREAMING AND ALL THE NOISE….... I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THIS ANYMORE.....…I WISH MY EARS WOULD FALL OFF SO I WOULDN’T HAVE TO HEAR THIS NOISE ALL OF THE TIME!”
Wow…all I could do in that moment was hold him tight as we sat on the floor together and cried. What had happened to our family? I sat there and listened to the turmoil around us, as if for the FIRST time I could FINALLY hear what was actually happening in our environment - an environment that was supposed to be safe and nurturing for our family.
For years we had become numb to the sounds and outbursts in our household, and unknowingly accepted a level of chaos as our normal state of living – chaos from work, chaos from dogs, chaos from kids, and chaos from mom and dad always trying to rise above it all and take control of the situation. There was no level of self-care for my husband and I or for our children, and it had gotten so bad that my son had manifested ear problems and wished deep down that his ears would "fall off.”
Ironically, every ailment is a gift in it’s own way, and ever since that day I’m happy to say we’ve been able to share conversations with our son much more openly about what he’s experiencing emotionally. We speak about where he’s feeling discomfort and tension in his body and we hold space for him to label his physical pain with words such as anger, sadness, or any other feelings that come to mind. When he makes the connection as to where he’s holding his emotions physically, things seem to lighten up for him, and he’s able to step back into alignment with much more ease and clarity.
I’m also happy to report that since that Saturday morning, our son’s earaches have mysteriously gone away, and as a family, we have set our self-care rituals into full swing. An excellent tool we use and one I suggest to my clients is that when you are in the thick of something intense, stop for a moment and ask yourself, “What’s working here?" "What’s not?” and then use your breadth and physical senses as a gauge to clue you in on where you are in terms of your alignment.
Children are definitely our greatest teachers in life, and I’m grateful for the moments of contrast that ultimately bring us closer to the clarity of the big picture. I also LOVE that my kids are starting to make the connection between the power of their mind and emotions in relationship to their overall physical well being. It's never too early to teach children positive, self-care practices! Good stuff!
If you have a similar story you'd like to share about mind/body wellness, please add it in the comments below and I would love to hear from you.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read this post and for sharing this message with others.